Monday, October 20, 2014

I'm not dead yet.

July 21st. That's the last time I wrote on this blog. 3 month hiatus. In 10 years of blogging I don't think I've ever gone that long. 

It's not that I don't have time. I have plenty. I'm just not...... Here? I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and depression which turned into a bipolar diagnoses. The world has been spiraling and I'm just trying to hang on. 

I'm not doing too well. :/ 

Retail therapy has become my drug of choice which has been a bit of a financial burden. That only makes this depression seat a whole lot deeper. Most days I just plug through with nothing to look forward to other than getting back into my bed at night. 

The last two weeks have been the worst I think. I'm weaning off of zoloft because I managed to gain 30lbs and my doctor is kinda pissed about it. She's an angry little woman. Oh, add a very serious vitamin D deficiency to the mix. One that almost got me hospitalized. 

Bipolar. Postpartum hormones. Vitamin d deficiency. Weight gain. 

I'm a hot mess. 

But although I feel miserable and don't want anything to do with blogging anytime soon I know I HAVE to. Because this is the stuff that matters. The grit and the dirty stuff. That's what I write about. Maybe to help me. Maybe to help someone else. All these maybes and no certainties and I think writing that shit out of my head will help me make sense of it all. 

So it may get a little dark and dangerous up in this bitch. I'll try to sprinkle cute baby pics around a bit to break up the Tim Burton vibes. 

And heaven knows I can never really get rid of this witty sarcasm. 

Monday, July 21, 2014

Catching up with Rowan

I know it's been months since I've posted pictures of the boys. Rowan is growing up fast so I figured I'd throw some photos I have been obsessively taking the last 4 months..... Why does it seem like he is growing up faster than Raine?

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Conversations With The Toddler

{We have Conversations With The Cuddler but lets be honest here, sometimes the kid is even funnier than the father..... In a whole less raunchy, yet terribly cute sort of way.}

It's been a long time! But Raine has been saying some funny shit so I needed to update! ;)

With a little brother in the house, Raine has had a lot of anatomy questions. Don't ask my why Rowan coming home brought all this on but hey, in the name of education, right? The problem being that we are also learning about plants a lot lately. 

James: That's called a penis.
Raine: What?! Venus? Daddy, there's no planets down here!

and then yesterday, out of nowhere he sits on his potty to take a dump and when he finishes he turns to look at it and exclaims:

Raine: Guys, look! It's a castle!!! I made a castle!

I couldn't make this stuff up. I honestly couldn't.