Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I'm in a glass case of emotion...

So.... yesterday was rough on me for obvious reasons. I don't think I quit crying till I fell asleep last night. You should have seen me, all bawling over my dinner plate. It was rather ridiculous. Yes, it was over a dog. But by golly, I love the mutt. P.M.S. could have had a lot to do with it as well. I'm totally cool with admitting that. I'm woman, hear me roar..... or sob into my chicken patties.

Anyway, I woke up this morning with a clearer head. It's occurred to me that while animals are usually super adaptable to many situations, that's not always the case with humans. This move has not been very easy on anyone and I wonder if Michigan's anxieties aren't him feeding off of my anxious attitude the last few weeks.

I remember when I was pregnant I was an emotional roller coaster occasionally just running off the freaking tracks. That poor dog was a wreck too. Chewing his legs all up, pouting when I was being "crazy", and he started exhibiting all sorts of God awful behaviors. This is usually a very well behaved and devoted animal but during my pregnancy he even started nipping a bit. The same activity took place when Raine came home. I was an anxious new momma and Michigan didn't handle my mood swings all that well then either.

I'm not going to lie, I've been a big ball of stress and just pure evil since we made the move. I think my problem lies strongly in my obsessive compulsive disorder. My routines and order are all out of whack and every day I wake up a bear. In fact, I am honestly curious how I am handling things as well as I am! I have had break downs from less.

So I owe it to my first babe to give it another month. I stand by what I said yesterday, I am certain Michigan would never hurt any of us. His low growls and whining are merely an indicator that he's uncomfortable. As a momma I get super protective and add P.M.S. to the mix and it's basically a recipe for paranoia.

Today things were better. I forced myself to relax and dog and boy followed suit. We all curled up and watched a movie and things were right in the world again. I still intend to put what is best for my dog and my family first over my own desires but I owe it to everyone to make sure that high tension isn't the culprit for everyone's sour attitudes.

Time for me to suck it up and cheer up..... where's that Midol?


  1. I cried my eyes out when you wrote about having to give up the dog, and today I am all like "the world is right they are going to give it another try" I hope that everything works out for your little family to stay together as a happy family. I understand sometimes it is hard to do the right thing when it means losing something you love so much and I hope you don't have to go though that!

  2. I hope things get better. It made me tear up to. I've been there with a dog that was as much a kid of mine as my biological kids. I bet once things settle in, it will all be ok :)

    1. I cried writing it! and all day too lol I really hope you're right! The last few days have been a little better so fingers crossed :D