Thursday, February 28, 2013
I'm an optimistic pessimist
Contrary to popular belief (and all the "let love win" posts I've been posting here lately) I am considered somewhat of a pessimist amongst my peers. I like to think I am more of realist but hey..... Tomato, tomahto.
I try real hard, especially lately, to not be so much of a negative nancy but it's kind of just part of my nature. I'm no stranger to cynicism and I'm always pointing out the negative reality of the situation. This doesn't always fly well with my peeps, as one would imagine.
Most times my friends will come to me for encouragement or the proverbial pat on the back which I can't always provide because I know that what they just spouted off at the mouth to me about was a terribly bad idea or that their idea may not work out. And as is the case with most word vomit, I can't seem to stop myself from pointing out just how bad something can turn out to be or just how crazy I think my best friend's idea of sticking her cat in the dryer after its bath really is.
Peeps just don't like that shiz. Not all the time anyway. But like I said, I'm a realist. Always on the hunt to be realistic probably in some crazy attempt at avoiding disappointment in my own life. And while my "realistic assessment" may not always be accurate, I'd feel like a terrible friend/family member if I weren't honest with my thoughts. I don't think I am doing you any favors if I tell you that those moon boots look amazing with your wedding dress. I'm nearly 97% positive you will regret that style choice. I mean, c'mon!
If I tell you what you wanted to hear all the time instead of what I thought or what has been my experience, what kind of friend does that make me? The lying kind. Der. If you want someone to tell you what's on your mind all the time then hire an assistant or a butler or something. *Alfred* Don't wake me up from the amazing nap I was having if all you want is for me to say "go you" when clearly you have lost a good portion of your common sense.
But the last few months I have been trying to look at the bright side of things. I'm still a realist but I try to gear those thoughts to the more positive "outside of the box" mindset. A little less grumpy old cynic, if you will. Like, instead of assuming that my usually moochy, always looking for a hand out-friend is only calling me to "borrow" some money I try to remember said friend just so happens to be going through a hard time right now and may just be calling me for a shoulder to lean on.
Turns out they wanted money.
But that's besides the point. Here's the funny thing, people get just as irritated with me for looking at the positive! Sometimes misery just loves it some major company I guess and me pointing out the good and being a little more cheery as a result doesn't fly well in the sight of all that.
I can't win.
But it's been beneficial (for me at least) to look at both sides of any given coin. I'm much happier for it and I suppose there is a time for both outlooks. A healthy balance and all that.
I'm not entirely sure where I am going with this and I am sort of talking about two totally separate things here. 1. My general pessimistic attitude and 2. Honesty with my homies. And I'm not entirely sure how the two relate to each other. Other than that they make my relationships really freaking complicated.
I guess I worry that my buds think I'm being purposefully argumentative out of some sick desire to what? I don't know. But it's totally not the case. I'm just telling you how I see it. And if you're coming to me for advice or to discuss shiz than well, I gotta say SOMETHING, no? I just prefer to be truthful. I would expect the truth from you! Lately it doesn't seem to matter what type of truth that is, whether its optimistic or pessimistic... Sometimes the answer to some is to simply be agreeable.
But I am not agreeable. I suppose that means I am argumentative. A pessimistic, negative, argumentative, cynic who is trying to be an optimistic, positive, cheery, always looking on the bright side of shiz-type person.
People don't make this identity crisis any easier.