Friday, March 29, 2013

Sticking with the "bad week" theme and all...

While depression can be a jerk and P.M.S. is a bitch (no seriously) there is one other thing in my life that can blow both these assholes out of the water. This prick can make depression with P.M.S. look like a nice sunny day at the beach, guys.

No joke.

That prick I'm referring to would be obsessive compulsive disorder. 

I wish I could be like normal people. Normal people usually can wake up a little late one day, brush it off, and get on with their lives. If I wake up late and miss a part of my routine I end up in a glass case of emotion sobbing like a boy who's just been struck in the genitalia for the better part of a week.

Yes, you read that right. It does sound extreme, doesn't it? 

But it's my life and the way I've always lived it. I sometimes feel so ridiculous looking at the very real things that other people deal with on a day to day basis and here I am crying over spilled milk (literally) or a broken crayon in a box of new crayons. It doesn't feel very good to completely collapse emotionally when your husband accidentally puts a spoon in where the dang forks are supposed to go.

You can laugh. It IS funny. Even I can recognize the humor in all of this. There is that saving grace for me. That I can laugh at myself a little. 

I was saying to Jimmy that I don't think it's so much that I actually hate this house but that by moving here my head has been all thrown out of whack. I have to go about things much differently, create new cleaning routines to accomodate a bigger house, and establish new routines for Raine too. (routines routines routines....bah! shut up!) I haven't had much success in doing that because, HELLO,  life gets in the way and then my mind feels busted up from trying to comprehend it all. 

Today I feel hopeless. I don't think this sick cycle will ever really end and some days I handle that knowledge better than others. Today and the last few days haven't been so good in that department. If anything, it's like this disease just gets worse as time moves forward. I don't recall things being so extreme growing up or as bad even a couple years ago. 

It's crossed my mind that having kids and giving them the routines that they tend to thrive on hasn't helped matters much. Because I provide Raine with a solid routine I've become enveloped in said routine myself. I mean, I have to. I am his mother afterall. Routine, in itself, isn't the problem. It's a break in it that sends me spiraling. I want so badly to be able to miss something or to skip a step without a meltdown.

From me. Not the kid.

I have to constantly remind myself that I can overcome this. Maybe not entirely but I can overcome how it feels right now. I always manage to come out on top as long as I don't quit fighting. Nothing was ever accomplished by someone feeling sorry for themselves. And I refuse to feel sorry for myself. It's just a few bad days. Not the end of the world. 

At least I know that when the end of the world does come.... I'll be the most organized, prepared, crazy person on my block.

Have a happy Easter, Homies! I intend on color sorting eggs all weekend. Maybe that will make me feel better. 

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Depression hurts... So does P.M.S

Depression is a killer, guys. Those who have it already know this of course. But obviously it is wreaking hovac in these parts lately which completely explains my lack of blogging and muttering of funny things.... or serious things.... or anything at all for that matter.

I'm not even sure if I am suffering from actual "depression" as it's that lovely week that almost every lady with a sense of humor and a habit of keeping up with all things trendy has begun calling "shark week". Look it up. It's a thing. And if you still don't get it.... I have my period. Which would explain last weeks sour, foggy mood.

Obviously I had P.M.S.

Depression rarely makes me want to Tae Bo kick Jimmy in the face for no reason at all. Depression usually makes me stay in bed a lot which Raine actually prefers because that means it's a television day.  But no, lately I have wanted to karate chop the husband and sell the kid on eBay which CLEARLY indicates P.M.S and NOT a random bout of depression.


Obviously I would never sell my son online so don't freak out. Kicking Jimmy in the face? 

Accidents happen. 

Just sayin. 

Monday, March 25, 2013

Conversations With The Cuddler

{Conversations with The Cuddler posts are excerpts of conversations with my husband, James. It's a peek at the hilarious, sometimes bazaar, always nonsensical topics that come up around here. In short, my husband just says the darndest things.} 

It's been awhile since I've posted one of these. Actually, it's been awhile since James has said anything absurd......which could be a miracle of the Lord.... or just the stress of our routine out of whack still holding strong. But alas, here's some gems from the weekend:

The "trying to conceive" version. Which may mean some TMI for those that can't handle the idea of how babies are made ;P

James (excitedly): Have you rinsed out the cup that you peed in yet?
Me: Ummm... no. Just throw it out.

And then he rinses it out anyway. I had to throw it away this morning. Mind you, it was a plastic disposable cup. Are you as grossed out as I am? 

Then this jem thrown at me sarcastically as we were snuggled up and falling asleep last night in a half sleepy voice....

James: Sorry I didn't fertilize your egg this month......

Next time James..... next time. 

Baby Raine breaking hearts. Specifically mine. How could I not want another one of these rascals? 

Friday, March 22, 2013

Instagram Lovins

I'm not dead. I'm in emotional limbo. When I am like this there just isn't much I can say that isn't going to be boring as hell.... and quite frankly, it would be just as boring to write it as it would be for you to read it. 

I promise.... I will not torture you like that. Really, I'm being selfish here because I can't stand to torture myself like that.

So I figure it's entirely acceptable to bore you with Instagram pictures instead ;P

1} Oh no! Mommy put all the different colored leggos together..... the world is on the brink of destruction now!
2} Raine's Easter hoho :)
3} This kid is an iPad wizard.
4} Yeah... I totally ate the whole thing. No shame. 
5} Our newest Craigslist score. Now we can actually have a seat in the playroom. 
6} A snowy March. 
7} He's really growing up too fast. I'm terrified that I won't be able to keep up.
8} See what I mean?
9} Taking pictures with mommy's phone is the newest craze.

Oh, and I hacked more hair off and colored it blue....

Do you instagram? Follow me: mrs_aerykssen

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Bye Bye Google Reader...

So, if you haven't heard yet, it looks as if Google is getting rid of Google Reader. To me, this is no big thing but many bloggers are stunned because it looks as if this also means we are saying goodbye to Google Friend Connect too.... if you don't know what that is, that's the little gadget on my sidebar that looks like so.....

It may or may not be the way you choose to follow this here blog and the others that you read which is what stinks like bad fish because once it takes a hike on July 1st then you may lose all your follows! 

I'll be honest though, I don't think I am going to mind seeing it go. Blogging has become quite the numbers game and it's all controlled through that little gadget right there. It can be good but it can also be so evil bad. So I say good riddance! Am I right? ;)

Now, I follow most blogs through Google reader so this is going to be an adjustment for me in that regard but I switched over to Bloglovin this morning and was able to easily import all the blogs I follow over to them. Sign up and with a click of a button.....viola! So go check it out. 

Other ways you can find me are:

So see? It's not so bad, right? There are plenty of ways to connect with me and my blog and plenty of ways for me to connect with you too! You can also reach me by email and/or subscribe blog posts via email too! You can check out these links over there on my sidebar. 

I hope to see you guys on the flip side ;D

Monday, March 11, 2013

Is 30 the new 50?

This photo has nothing to do with this post. Well, unless you consider that in my old age I have no problem doing my hair and make up while staying in my pajamas all day. 

I remember when I was younger listening to my mom whine about how old she was getting and all these supposed aches and pains she was feeling and I would think she was crazy. She was only 35 after all. But she acted as if she was 90 and dying any day! I couldn't grasp her thinking at all. Of course, I wasn't even a decade old so maybe that had something to do with it.

When I met James he had just turned 30 and I heard a lot of those same complaints coming out of his mouth. I thought he was crazy and he told me I would find out when I turned 30. I just laughed it off. I was healthy, fit, and full of life. I felt it was unlikely I would suddenly deteriorate the minute the hour struck on my 30th birthday. 

So now I am 31...... And pretty much, I'm dying. Or at least, I now realize my own mortality. Not because I am inching ever closer to 40 because the actual number holds little significance to me. No sir, what has me feeling like the grim reaper is just hanging out on my couch eating up all my cheerios ( I could even keep cheerios in the house) is the fact that my body feels like junk. 

My knees pop and creak. My stomach is never happy. I have acid reflux and other evil issues that seem to have literally cropped up during the week of my 30th birthday. I gain weight way easier now so forget that tasty Big Mac....which I can't have anyway because I fear the indigestion. Losing said weight takes double the work than it used to. I can't sleep in anymore. If I sleep past 8:30 a.m. I feel like crap the entire day and I usually want to be in my bed at 9 p.m.  Even though I force myself to wait until at least 10 p.m. Ugh, and don't get me started on my inability to hold my liquor.

Friday night we went out for the first time in nearly a year. Jimmy and I woke up Saturday morning and thanked our lucky stars that we had 3 bathrooms.... I won't go into details because it would lose me some readers, I'm sure. Suffice it to say that this family of three remained in bed for over 24 hours watching episode after episode of Phineas and Ferb. It's not like we partied the night away either. A few drinks and a later than usual bedtime and you would think we were up all night at a raging keg party. How did I even live this way in my 20's? Why did I even want to? 

All those times I knocked my mom for even suggesting she was "getting old".... And it's not like my mom is one for complaining about physical pain or ailments. The woman is like the female equivalent of Rambo for heck's sake. So I should have probably taken her plight a little bit more seriously back then. 

I'm sure not laughing now. 

When I hear her complaints now that she is over 50 I keep my mouth shut. 

I'll admit that I'm a teensy bit terrified. 

Thursday, March 7, 2013

30 Day Shred & Instagram Lovins

I swear all I do is post Instagram Lovins posts now. Looking at my recent post list suggests otherwise but I still feel like that's all I write about some weeks. It's just the easiest way to update me, you, whoever on the going ons of us crazy cats. 

SO, I started level two of the 30 day shred last night and I have some foul news.... I won't be able to continue the work out it seems. Within 5 minutes of work out two I realized that many of the rapid leg movements was going to be too hard on my knees. I took a peek at level three and found it was even more of the same. Jillian uses a lot of plyometric movements (the same as Insanity and P90X, I believe.) to get you into shape and while effective, it's super shocking to the knees and joints. There isn't anything medically wrong with my knees technically but I can feel that there is a high potential that there could be. My knees and ankles took a heck of a beating in my pregnancy with Raine so I just don't want to test it. I suffered my way through level two last night and I can honestly say I feel terrible today and not in a sore muscle from a good workout sort of way. I kind of feel like I actually broke something :/

That being said, my review so far? This workout can most definitely provide a good workout for those who are looking to tone up or are generally not fit to begin with. Jimmy thinks he may give it a go as a stepping stone into starting Insanity because he is not the least bit into exercise. For people like me who are fitness junkies? Probably not for you. I was barely even able to break a sweat in workout one or two and watching three, I doubt I would find much challenge in that either. It may have had the potential to tone me up though but unfortunately I can't finish the program  to find out. 

And that's that. I am happy though because I actually found the original Tae Bo exercise series that I used to love and that helped me lose 30 lbs a few years back so I am going to go back to that. It's fun, not as overwhelming on my joints, and burns a shit ton of calories while still toning you up. I actually had 6 pack abs when I was religious with Tae Bo! So I am going back to what I know works :)

On to the Instagram....

1} Ya can't have a pixie haircut without Bed Head products nor can you take a picture without a nosey toddler photo bombing you. 
2} Touching up the pink and seriously considered just staying blond. Yay or nay?
3} He must have been having a growth spurt because he ate almost a whole box of cheerios that day. And spilled them all over the floor too. Thank goodness for big dogs. Better than vacuums. 
4} This kid is a veggie junkie. He eats an entire plate every night. I am not complaining fyi. 
5} Curly lazy pixie? I am not sure about this...
6} I loved this shower curtain I had from Urban Outfitters but we have glass shower doors now. I think it makes a nice bird cage cover though, no?
7} Momma's new toy. I sold a lot of crap on eBay to get this sucker. 
8} I love my hair :)
9} Raine is now learning piano..... kind of. Jimmy's showing him notes and Raine is getting it but mostly likes banging away at the keys for hours ;)

Do you instagram? Follow me: mrs_aerykssen

Monday, March 4, 2013

And so home with us, he stays.

A couple people have asked how things are going with Michigan after I had wrote this post and this one about a month and a half ago. So how about a little update, shall we?

After many tears between Jimmy and I and the inability to make a final decision on whether or not we would be able to keep Mich we finally decided to give it another month to see if things would settle in and settle down after moving and everything else that has been going on around here lately. For whatever reason, this move has been the most stressful I have ever experienced to date.... and I have moved a lot. Always within the same town and this time was no different so I really can't explain why this time around has been so chaotic.

Moving itself was easy and swift. We had all our belongings moved from the old place to the new within a few hours and I was pretty much unpacked by the end of the weekend. The adjustment to the new house though has just been a bit much for us. You would think that us small time, former poor kids would be ecstatic to move into a much bigger place in a well off neighborhood but sadly, it's been the opposite. There have been nights where all we want to do is pack up and move back home to the "ghetto" (I use that term loosely as I'm not being literal but in my town, that's pretty much what my old neighborhood is considered) and obviously we can't do that.

Things have gotten better and routines are finally being established but still, there is a strong sense that this isn't where we are supposed to be. That unsettled feeling has definitely had a big effect on our pets. Especially Michigan. Okay, maybe not all the pets.... the cats really couldn't give a rat's ass. Except my fat cat. She's pretty pissed that she has to navigate all these stairs.

I may have to get her an inhaler.

Do they make 30 Day Shred for obese felines?

Michigan's confusion over pack order seems to have settled down a bit though. Rather than try to boss over Raine he is actually listening to some small commands Raine gives him. I was blown away last week when Raine asked Michigan to "sit" and Michigan obliged.

Food is still a problem (it never was until we moved) so I find it best if everyone is separate while eating. Thankfully Michigan doesn't give a damn if Raine is feisty and playing in his dog bowl. It's just people meal time that gets a little shovey. No growls or biting just a lot of shoving that I am in no mood to tolerate. It's odd to me that this would suddenly develop into an issue though as Michigan is generally not allowed people food and was never known to be a beggar. Maybe it's because the house provides a bigger space for Michigan to romp around and so he does so. Which annoys us when we are in one room together. So I just find it easier to separate him till meals are finished.

He still seems a little antsy at times and will bark out the front windows at the slightest movement or noise. Honestly, as long as it's not a nervous thing that affects his health, I don't mind that he does this. I feel a little more protected knowing that he will alert us to any odd movement or anything suspicious. It may be annoying when it's the mailman and Raine is napping but otherwise I'd rather he act protective than not. It could possibly save our lives some day.

We think things have died down enough though that we can say the best place for him is still here with us. Even if we moved him to stay with a friend I think it would just make his new behaviors worse from moving again and being away from his "pack". I don't worry that he is a danger to Raine and I am not sure I ever actually did but things just got so overwhelming there for a bit that I am not even sure where my head was at. Let alone the dog's.

This morning was actually closer to the "normal" chaos that was life back at the old place. Raine was eating orange slices. Michigan stole one which sent Raine into a fury of tears screaming "Bad doggy! Bad Mich Mich!!" (and I swear if that dog could laugh he would have) which got the bird all fired up and squawking for a good 20 minutes..... it was officially insane.

Just as it used to be.

Maybe in another month it will all settle back into the way it was.

And I want to add another baby to all of this?